So I unfollowed you, and you are crying shame and wondering, why on earth did I do that?
Don’t despair: it is all my fault.
Seriously.
I have unfollowed you, because
- I am too dumb to make use of the untold opportunities you and your business would have offered me on twitter
- I am communicationally challenged, which is why I don’t get you retweeting a gazillion tweets of people I have never heard of and will never care about, who gave their insights and timeless questions to you, which you now in your wisdom have decided to share with me and the world
- I am a dork, and don’t have the slightest interest in optimizing my body parts, finding your perfect diet solution or shopping for fashionable clothes on your account
- I don’t have a penis (sorry, I don’t see how you can fix _that_)
- My humor is off, which is why I don’t get your jokes
- I suffer from OCD, which is why I expect people to actually tweet something to keep them in my timeline
- I am one of the environmentally aware nutcases, who insist that owning an iPad doesn’t mean you can’t be against nuclear power, even if I don’t have all the answers
- I am easily offended by idiots
- I am an antisocial monster who doesn’t care for anyone but herself, since I give a rat’s ass about people who use twitter to ask for comfort and consolation on a regular basis, I am so cold I even won’t give in to emotional blackmail and constant whining and self-pity.
- I am a cheapskate – I won’t give my blood, donate organs, bone marrow or anything valuable to any cause raised over twitter
- For crying out loud, I am so uncool I really don’t see the beauty in your check-in status from Gowalla or Foursquare, how oldfashioned can one person be?
- You pissed me off, which means my coping skills are below par and I have poor judgement
- I hate any kind of evangelism and object to it strongly, making me a pitiful heathen.
- I am bored.
See? It’s all in my head.
So sleep well and feel proper without me reading your timeline. You won’t be missed.

