Don’t worry. It’s all my fault.

März 23, 2011 under Web 2.0

So I unfollowed you, and you are crying shame and wondering, why on earth did I do that?

Don’t despair: it is all my fault.

Seriously.

I have unfollowed you, because

  • I am too dumb to make use of the untold opportunities you and your business would have offered me on twitter
  • I am communicationally challenged, which is why I don’t get you retweeting a gazillion tweets of people I have never heard of and will never care about, who gave their insights and timeless questions to you, which you now in your wisdom have decided to share with me and the world
  • I am a dork, and don’t have the slightest interest in optimizing my body parts, finding your perfect diet solution or shopping for fashionable clothes on your account
  • I don’t have a penis (sorry, I don’t see how you can fix _that_)
  • My humor is off, which is why I don’t get your jokes
  • I suffer from OCD, which is why I expect people to actually tweet something to keep them in my timeline
  • I am one of the environmentally aware nutcases, who insist that owning an iPad doesn’t mean you can’t be against nuclear power, even if I don’t have all the answers
  • I am easily offended by idiots
  • I am an antisocial monster who doesn’t care for anyone but herself, since I give a rat’s ass about people who use twitter to ask for comfort and consolation on a regular basis, I am so cold I even won’t give in to emotional blackmail and constant whining and self-pity.
  • I am a cheapskate – I won’t give my blood, donate organs, bone marrow or anything valuable to any cause raised over twitter
  • For crying out loud, I am so uncool I really don’t see the beauty in your check-in status from Gowalla or Foursquare, how oldfashioned can one person be?
  • You pissed me off, which means my coping skills are below par and I have poor judgement
  • I hate any kind of evangelism and object to it strongly, making me a pitiful heathen.
  • I am bored.

See? It’s all in my head.

So sleep well and feel proper without me reading your timeline. You won’t be missed.

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Californication

November 5, 2007 under Zitate

Hab gerade die erste Staffel Californication zu Ende geschaut. Sex & Drugs & Rockn’Roll und David Duchovny, sexy as hell, als Verkörperung des protopyischen Boheme-Autoren, A Writer’s Mind gone Hollywood. Weiss noch nicht so recht was ich davon halten soll, aber für 47 sieht der Mann extrem heiss aus.

Sein Charakter, Hank Moody, ist Autor, und ein ADSler wie er im Buche steht.

Aus einem anderen Blog, das ich in den nächsten Tagen dicht mache, will ich eigentlich nur ein Moody-Zitat retten:

“Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. Y’know, I mean we have all this amazing technology, and yet, computers have turned into basically four-figure wank machines, the internet was s’pposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us was Howard Deane’s aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn.Y’ know, people. They don’t write anymore, they blog, instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar, LOL-this and LMFAO-that, y’know, it just seems to me that it is just a bunch of stupid people sudo communicating with a bunch of other people, in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English…”

Eigenartigerweise bin ich gar nicht seiner Meinung. Natürlich ist die Welt des Twitterns und SMSens ein Gezwitscher besonderer Art und nicht alles muss unbedingt der Nachwelt erhalten bleiben, aber ich denke in der Tat, dass Bloggen mehr zum Erhalt von “The King’s English” beigetragen hat als so manches literarische Werk. Blogger (zumindest die die ich für lesenswert befinde) sind im Allgemeinen höchst belesen und wissen sich auszudrücken… aber das kann ich ein anderes Mal ausführen.

Ich warte auf Staffel 2…

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